SPIKE ROGAN'S Warped World of Sports

Barnhardt's Blunders

2010-07-27T08:04:00.000-07:00

Boy where to even start this week! Well first we had the week priors’ race in Toronto. All week Tomas Scheckter kept proclaiming that Alex Tagliani needed to stop “Crying like a baby” over their crash in Toronto. It seemed a bit like the Billy Batts line from ‘Goodfellas’ “…Go get your fucking shine box!”

Luckily both Tagz and Scheckter had crappy races at Edmonton that kept them away from each other. Otherwise Tomas would have been in the trunk of Henry Hill’s car or Tagz would have been beaten silly like 2006 versus Paul Tracy. (We will get back to him later in this ramble.)

So Edmonton started off looking like another kind of dull run away for the “IndyCar Shark” himself, Mr. Will Power. (Or Mr. Power, William as Helio called him on the Versus Pre-Race show.) Fastest in practice, takes the pole, yada, yada, yada for 2010 Road & Street races to this point.

Well, who knew the last few laps would just blow away any other racing story? You had the F1 race earlier in the day, if you could see it in your local market. Followed by a big bomb for NASCAR at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. They say anywhere from 135,000 to 150,000 were in attendance. The NASCAR run media says the latter, while people from the local media there like Curt Cavin and “Sockless” Robin Miller say more the lower.

IMS seats 250,000 fans so it is safe to say NASCAR has lost its power in the Indianapolis market. The front stretch looked like an ARCA race at Michigan. But to be fair even if NASCAR had 135,000 that would still be one of their biggest crowds for 2010. That is more than Pocono Raceway holds, and I know for a fact they are not near a sell-out. NASCAR can’t sell-out tracks like they did in the late 1990’s & Pocono is no exception. The problem is more than just a weak economy since their TV ratings continue to decline.

Also you had a god awful pit strategy by the 42 crew to take four tires late in the race when two were enough. While Montoya lost the race being too far back on the re-start and then tangling with the Milkas of NASCAR, Chip Ganassi didn’t win with him but lucked into his team mate’s right call with a McMurray win. Ganassi upping the Dark Sith Lord, Roger Penske becoming the 1^st owner to sweep the Daytona 500, Indy 500, and Brickyard 400 in the same season. (Listed in order of run not importance! Also Both NASCAR races were won for the 1^st time by Ganassi. Not too shabby!)

Now to the Great White North, where “hosers” were up in arms over a really shitty end to the race. Brian Barnhardt a man who gives mental disabilities a bad name, down right BLOWS a call to decide a win. I won’t go into long detail since EVRYONE saw the post race coverage. ESPN was all over it like flies on shit. (Mainly to deflect attention from the empty house they broadcast from earlier that day. Even the Network affiliates in the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, PA Media market showed it and all they cover is NASCAR.)

While it is “Great” the IndyCar series is getting press, what is not great is that NASCAR’s dud gets swept under the rug, while the fact the IndyCar race had a better turnout for the amount of seats they had. (Plus the locals had either the race or watch as the local CFL team loses four in a row on TV. But what is going on in Indy other than the 400? It’s not like it’s NY or LA.)

It would have been a better selling point to say, “Hey NASCAR is on the decline, put IndyCar on TV.” Or “Let us race at your Super Speedway.”

Instead it is a race being fixed like a WWF match between King Kong Bundy & Brett Hart. Only in this case the man throwing the race is King Dumb Barnhardt!

Barnhardt better be glad he has only pissed off the IndyCar fans. If this were a NASCAR event he would have been castrated and scalped by angry fans armed only with empty torn cans of Natural Lite. And boy do NASCAR fans know how to use Beer as a weapon post race. Just see Talladega from a few years back!

Its due time Cowboy Randy B, rides back into town and lassos up another big bull! He did the right thing about Milka Duno, and now he needs to fix this Barnhardt debacle once and for all. The bigger question is with whom?

I’ve heard Al Unser Jr.’s name tossed around. I like that, certainly the closest win in Indy 500 history (still my most memorable as a 6^th grader.) helps. When I was on The Inside Line I tossed the name Wally Dallenbach Jr. in the chat room around. Sure he is NASCAR announcer on TNT, but they do so few races, he might need more work in 2011 why not? He raced all kinds of cars, and is one of the few guys covering NASCAR who often doesn’t care who he offends. Wally has never been good at being a yes man for NASCAR. How he is still there is a miracle in itself.

Heck even Pancho Carter would be a good pick, he has spotted for Milka Duno this year, and if anyone knows what blocking looks like, it’s one of her spotters!

The issue remains, Scott Dixon was handed a victory he didn’t deserve because King Dumb Barnhardt has his head so far where the sun doesn’t shine.

As for Will Power’s claim of “Yes” Helio blocked me. Am I the ONLY person who since St. Pete has read between the lines Helio & Will are fighting for Alpha Dog rights among Penske drivers? (With Briscoe the freighted poodle hiding from run ins with the likes of cones, tire barriers and Graham Rahal on twitter).

In St. Pete during the rain delay, how many times did Helio “joke” he wanted to “break Will Power’s legs if he keeps winning.”?

When I was at Watkins Glen, pole day had a semi-tense moment not reported in the media center. Helio went off course late in qualifying and was late to the Pole award press conference. When he arrived (after Pole Sitter Will Power had been speaking.) Helio sat down next Power and stomped his feet. (Not smiling. Media center is DEAD silent.) Power jumps in “He’s such a kidder” to cause an eruption of laughs. Then Helio laughs along too.

Well is it not kinda odd, that Sunday after Helio explodes, he “jokes” around with the head of Security he just grabbed, and then tells the TV crew “Talk to my attorneys!”

Folks, there is a dog fight in Team Penske, Helio being in the 3 car has been Alpha Dog for a LONG time, now Power is looking to gobble him up and take over. This is only the start; wait till we get to the end of the season. Power is great on Road & Street courses, but Helio is the dog who is still on top of Penske’s oval efforts. If Will Power wants an oval, I bet he will have to beat Helio for it.

As for Paul Tracy, he as predicted couldn’t wait to gloat on Twitter about Helios bad luck. WELL, I called him out on Twitter and told him to get over his Indy 500 loss and grow up. (Hey, I’m a Gonzo Journalist, we put ourselves in the story! i.e.; Fear & Loathing: In Las Vegas. A book that starts out about covering a Motorsports event by the way.)

Well Mr. Tracy replied back! Normally he NEVER replies to non-famous followers. But he did, and his rebuttal was “At least I didn’t assault an official”. Well, that is very true PT, but we have seen what you do to smaller drivers who won’t back off.

I should be careful what I say about PT. (And as much as I rip him, I do really like him. He is like Sir Charles Barkley; he will always give us a show & sound byte.) Having seen his family lingering his pits at the Glen, I might find myself getting stomped like Billy Batts, by middle aged men in plaid, ready to be extras for the Red, Green Show.

Hopefully they will spare me the clubs made of all Duct Tape!

IZOD IndyCar fans, Get fooled again!!!

2010-07-14T11:09:00.000-07:00

Ah “what to say, what to say…” “Like a word misplaced nothing said what a waste…”

Those are lines from the Pearl Jam song ‘Dissident’, and somehow it came to me at the end of this god awful announcement from the IZOD IndyCar series today.

Open wheel fanatics and even casual race fans were getting all up into a froth in anticipation for this announcement. Myself and @Kart58 on Twitter were talking about how it felt like Christmas eve waiting to open our presents.

Clearly the iconic committee put a massive amount of coal in many fan’s stockings. Espically if you’re a fan of Swift Engineering. I like how Rachael Nichols (better known as @Pinkgineer on twitter) was VERY classy on the matter. She posted shortly after the announcement the following: “Thanks to everyone for the support these past months. I would have still put in just as much effort if I knew the outcome. Until next time!”

I would be Uber pissed if I flew from California to Indiana only to be so publicly let down. But I lack class! My tweet as soon as I heard the IZOD IndyCar series will use the lines from the Who’s classic ‘Won’t get fooled again’ by staying with Dallara were as follows: “By inviting the people from #Swift to be at this, they basically just used brass knuckles to punch them in the crouch. #IZODIndyCar”

Am I wrong? Am I? Why invite people your about to say “Thanks but FUCK YOU! We have no need to change companies!” Swift got the fans more pumped up with their innovations and PR effort than Dallara, Lola, Delta Wing, and the BAT people combined!!! Rachael Nichols has become a fan favorite in the IndyCar series, and she has NEVER been a driver or strategist there!

The biggest thing that makes me laugh is the spin-meisters claims that Dallara will make car cheaper. REALLY!?!? Robin Miller said it during the winter, and I will say it now, if they think they can make a car cheaper, well then what the fuck have they been doing for what eight years now?!?

Now I know some are easily grossed out so skip this next paragraph if that is you!

Yesterday I had a “Woody Allen” Sandwich from the Carnegie Deli; it’s about three pounds of Pastrami, and corned beef on rye. I missed the first few minutes of today’s press conference in the bathroom from it. Little did I know when I flushed, that was not the biggest pile of shit I would encounter this afternoon! Man did this announcement STINK!

Ok sorry folks, but that is the damn truth!

If you heard a farting sound around 12:45 PM ET today, it was not the dog, but the sound of IZOD Indy Car fans bubble getting burst!

Granted I like the idea of different aero/body kits. They seem to think they can limit teams to just two types per season. And this will put an end to spec looking cars. So clearly the Delta win even had a victory today, albeit MINOR!

I hope if nothing else the “Mushroom buster” may find its way into the aero kits. That was a major selling point many fans loved about Swift’s plan.

I’m still not sure what to think about the engine for 2012, is it just me or did all the “Rah-rah, let’s go Dallara, win, win, win, wheeeeee!” basically dominate not only the press conference in Speedway, but also on-line? Did we even still learn anything about new engines? Or did my making a Dallara this afternoon keep me away from the PC as they hazed over it?

I did hear the “Push to Pass” button may add what feels like 100 HP. On paper that sounds good, but, can we park Milka for that? Can you imagine her timing on that? Or what if you PTP at the end of a straight into a turn, could it be like having a stuck throttle?

Hey I like the PTP idea. But wonder if maybe 30-40 HP is a big enough boost for 15 seconds.

Back to Dallara in closing, they claim a discount to the first team who buys the new car. I would hope Sarah Fisher Racing (SFR) would be the first in line. Even if it means they have to camp outside Dallara’s building for a week like teeny boppers for a “Twilight” film.

She could be the next Ganassi or Penske (so-so driver turned power house owner), and this could be the thing to move her up. Otherwise, today’s announcement basically went like the who song. Meet the new car, same as the old one. And Now, IndyCar fans won’t get fooled again. (No one will care when they have another “BIG ANNOUNCEMET” they already shot their wad of disappointment.)

I hate you, you hate me, we’re a fast un-happy family

2010-07-07T02:39:00.000-07:00

While 2010 marks the "return" of Andretti Autosport (Formerly Andretti-Green Racing) in the Izod IndyCar series, it is anything but happy times. It is no secret that Danica Patrick and teammate Tony Kanaan are not the best of friends, or even in the same fantasy football league.

But what has been hidden is the fact crew members are feuding at Andretti Autosport as well. While at the Glen I overheard a less than lovable conversation between members of Andretti Autosport.

I shall withhold names to protect those involved. But I caught a conversation between a member of the 7 team with a member of the 26 team in the 26 pit.

7 team member: (pointing towards the 11 pit) "Did they ask you for any set up information?"

26 team member: "No."

7 team member: "yeah well I'm not volunteering any information to them unless they ask, and even then I won't be too forthcoming!"

26 team member: "yeah I don't blame you."

The member of Danica's team then walked into the Kanaan pits to speak with a member of the 11 team.

Well this sparked my interest and I worked over a unnamed source with strong connections to many insiders at Andretti Autosport on several teams. It seems that to our surprise the 7 team is still taking Danica's side, even after she tossed them under the bus at Indy, ran them over, backed up, ran them over again, and then spit on them for good measure with her comments after qualifying.(The one that got her booed.)

But the 7 team is also a bit segregated from the other three full time teams. Since the teams pit by points at the Glen; Kanaan,Hunter-Reay, and Marco Andretti were all pitted in a row. Further down the road by themselves was the Go Daddy team. So they feel like outsiders with a growing clique between Hunter-Reay & Kanaan who are very tight.

My source tells me that when Michael Andretti took over full control of the operation a mood change came with it. Everyone's ass is on the line week in and week out. The pressure is greater than ever for these teams to win, every little mistake is used against them later.

Michael Andretti has set the tone that if you don't win, be ready to take a verbal beating. If you don't like it there is the door, and don't let it hit you. Working at Andretti Autosport is more like being an intern for MTV, they will give you shit with no concern knowing plenty of people will take that job if they leave.

With everyones ass on the line, it's clear that a panic mode has set in. The 11 and 37 having won races become a bigger threat to the 7 crowd. Clearly they have a driver who lacks focus on the IZOD IndyCar series. Clearly many will pay the price for a poor showing by Miss Danica.

It's a shock they still protect her when she has insulted them, and is not doing her part to put the 7 in position for even a podium, let alone a win. But since Danica unlike the crew members brings big sponsorship dollars, she's Milka like. She won't go away as long as the big bucks roll into the Andretti Autosports bank account.

And it wasn't just that moment that showed the pressure is getting to crew members. When Ryan Hunter-Reay first pitted during Sunday's race, I was there for his stall leaving the pits. Once he was re-fired and left front tire changer Jeff Simon had a MASSIVE temper tantrum. (as did other members, but no where near the level of Simon.)

Simon kicked the shit out of several tires, banged on the pit box with his hand violently, and even yelled "Mother Fucker!!!God Damn him!!!!" right in front of Ryan's wife Beccy Gordon. (Who was confused at first as was I what happened. I thought it was a Ethanol fire at first since he stopped much like TK did for his fire last season.)

The 37 won the 1st race of the year for Andretti yet they seem to be as massively stressed out as the 7. I'm sure the fact it was not until July 4th that IZOD officially backed sponsoring them for all of 2010 did not help. Imagine every week you don't know if you will still have a job?

Now I understand it's good to have a crew who hates losing, thats what champions do.But clearly the Andretti Autosport family needs to attend family therpy together. This is a family that is ready for the Springer Show if they don't calm down a bit.

My source seems to also tell me, most of these members would jump, if there was someplace to jump to. With no openings at Penske & Ganassi there is really no better place to go. Let alone the weak economy right now makes Andretti one of the better paying places.

Don't be shocked if the big two have openings, they will most likely be filled by defectors from Andretti. Also be ready, this could boil over to a massive incident on national TV if things don't change. The 7 & 11 teams don't seem to be in any hurry to make peace.

Clearly there is just a growing amount of bad blood and finger pointing that the Andretti PR machine has done a fine job keeping behind closed doors. But this weekend they couldn't keep it too silent when someone forgot they were 18 inches from a guy with a media pass on his neck.

Fear & Loathing: at Watkins Glen on the 4th

2010-07-07T02:07:00.000-07:00

With all the talk about Watkins Glen possibly not coming back to the IZOD IndyCar series schedule in 2011, I bugged my network to let me go. One it was a great excuse to go visit one of the most scenic road courses on Earth.

And considering I was at the last IndyCar series race just a year early at Richmond (owned by the same company) how could I pass this 4^th of July event up?

After a few weeks of delay the track finally cleared me to go. My room that was reserved was an hour west of the Glen. In a town named Hornell, NY. The room was cheap and most on-line reviews were neutral of the place.

I left for the Finger Lakes region shortly before 10 AM ET on Friday July 2^nd. I was expecting some major delays in holiday traffic. Lord knows every holiday from the 4^th, to Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, Festivus, Flag Day, and even national Spam carving day, the brilliant minds in TV news inform us that “AAA predicts higher than average people traveling on the highways”.

Well as usual the twits who force smile with chemically enhanced whiter than white smiles had it all wrong. Hell these bastards believed a boy was in that damn tinfoil balloon, is it a shock there highway was no more used than any other weekday?

I flew up Interstate 380, then outside the hell known as Scranton, PA I got on 81 north (a place where even it’s fictional residents can’t wait to jet, ask Steve Carell who is fleeing the fictional version of the city, like Japanese from Godzilla.) which I followed to the Binghamton area where I would follow 86 West until I got to the 414 North exit.

I found myself at the media registration just at 1PM. It took me just 3 hours to get to the track. Slightly longer than a trip to Philadelphia. I went in and got my pass, wrist bands for food, (it’s like a wrist band at an amusement park only I don’t get any free rides, for that matter the amount of food we could eat was small. That’s troublesome since us sports reporters love to make massive pigs out of ourselves on free media food. Why do you think so many sports writers and radio hosts are fat? It’s waiting for the team or league to drop the free grub in front of them. It’s a great way to suck up to us fat bastards; you’d be amazed what a good chicken parm could do to avoid pointing out the poor performance of an organization or a ticket sales department.)

I was massively annoyed they served lunch Friday at 11AM, like all the media members were 80 year olds who only have “Early Bird Special” dinners at 3PM.

But nonetheless, I was there to see the IZOD IndyCar series, not eating some Oscar Meyer, cold cut platter sandwich. So I went and traveled into the heart of the beast, the IZOD IndyCar series Pit & Paddock area.

I had not been to the Glen since October 1999, when I was helping SCCA driver Marc Cefalo (yes cousin of Miami Dolphins radio play by play announcer Jimmy Cefalo). Marc would accidently hit me with his car on pit road during first practice. I spent the rest of the weekend hoping around. I thought of this every time I was around the pits of AJ Foyt racing since it was that general area on pit road it happened.

Luckily I avoided making contact with vehicles at the Glen. But it’s not an easy feat at an IZOD IndyCar series event. I think these crew members who drive the pit carts all were New York City cab drivers in a past life. These sons of bitches don’t stop for many people. Many drive up and down constantly honking those little toy car sounding horns. But as a former pit crew member in the ARCA series I get it. I would have to try and set up the pits race day with all kinds of red neck jackasses in my way.

Many would pester me in “How do I get ones of dems dere ‘HOT PIT PASSES’ like youze got?” Often my less than pleasant answer would be “Get a job with a race team like me, now move!” So I can understand they have a job to do. No complaints, but Jesus the human head can only turn around so far at times guys; I lack mirrors to see you coming. Also turn signals would help us know where you’re going.

But no one is crazier driving around there than drivers on their scooters. The funny thing is all the IndyCar drivers on scooters are in great shape. Yet those kinds of things are not legal in a stock car garage area. And look at Tony Stewart that guy looks like he ate the Tony who raced in the IRL. He has to walk, like John Daley in golf!

And no IndyCar driver is dangerous with their scooter than… take a guess. Well not Milka Duno, the Coyne team drives her around on their pit cart. (I guess they don’t think she can handle a scooter, but they still let her out in an IndyCar.) No, it’s Mario Moraes. That kid flew through tight spot fans inches from him on both sides squeezed between the rails to keep them from walking too close to the transporters doors, and the cars on line for tech. I think Moraes cleared my left foot by about an eight of an inch moving at a swift pace.

As he got by I heard a voice shout “The kid doesn’t get it!!! That’s why he ends up on top of other cars on the first lap!” I looked around but could not tell where the deep voice came from. I pressed on, finding a man with a blonde mullet, fu-man Chu stash like the father on American Choppers, and a “I’m a Milka Duno Fan” tee-shirt. That is right; he had a shirt announcing he is a fan of Milka Duno. It is up state New York, and many locals are Buffalo Bills fans. I guess if you like to never win, why stop at the NFL?

I almost wonder if Hugo Chavez ran an ad on Craigslist for “…white male Americans to play the part of a Duno fan.” If so, I could use a pay check President Chavez, hell I will race for CITGO and run better even though my fat ass can’t fit in the car. Clearly she needed this man, since she has no “Fans” in the paddock who wear Nomex suites & carbon fiber helmets.

Friday practice was rather uneventful. Maybe the highlight was meeting Stephanie Wallcraft of www.planet-irl.com other wise, the day was nothing more than a chance to get use to the layout, and just enjoy the coolest day of the weekend.

Once practice ended I quickly left the track for Hornell. An hour later I checked into my hotel. I should have known right away it was going to be a total shit hole, when I walked into the office to find an extremely thin, pretty, 20 something woman at the desk who kept rubbing her nose as if she sucked up an eight ball seconds before I walked in.

The place was a 60’s motor lodge layout, and it looked like the last renovation came shortly after Reagan beat Jimmy Carter. They claimed to have free Wi-Fi but it only worked if you were within about 8 feet of the router in their office. My shower was not cleaned from the previous guest and everyday when I would enter the room I was greeted with the smell of sweaty armpits, and not mine!

I’m sure one day I will find a highly disturbing porno on-line shot in this room involving, well gross things. It’s just that kind of a dump. I would not advise any motel in Hornell, NY to be safe. Unless you want to meet people who were on an episode of ‘COPS’.

So I made sure Saturday I was at The Glen as early as I could. I was not getting cheated out of lunch, crap, last thing I need to do as a real sports media member is losing weight. It’s all about pigging out, especially the same weekend as the infamous Coney Island hot dog contest. Don’t you know every guy waiting for lunch that day was 300lbs and up.

As for on-track activities, EJ Viso had a crazy wreck. Yet another KV Racing car bites the dust. I asked team co-owner Jimmy Vasser about the car. It was a loss for the weekend, but Jimmy was sure they could still rebuild it for another road course event. This has to just keep that KV Racing budget racing up like the mountain climber on Price is right. Let’s hope KV doesn’t fall off the cliff soon like the game show bit.

With E.J.’s car not ready to qualify it would give Milka Duno her best qualifying effort, 24^th out of 25. And slower than all but two Indy Lights cars. She would also ruin Ryan Hunter-Reay’s effort for a good qualifying run. I heard his radio as he caught her “MILKA!!! MILKA!!! GET BY HER!!! DON’T GET STUCK BEHIND HER NOW!!!” Well he did. Much was made about his “confrontation” with her.

Yes Ryan was pissed, but he was rather calm, and to be honest a bit of a push over with her. He told her she needs to use her mirrors on road courses because she didn’t even see him. Milka tried to defend herself, but was no where nearly as animated with Ryan as she was with Danica.

It would go on to be the topic of the weekend.

The bigger thing of interest was Adam Carroll’s debut with Andretti Autosport. He would advance to the second round in qualifying at a track he never ran until the day before in a series he never drove in until that weekend. It was nice to see a Northern Ireland driver in an open wheel car. It brought me back to the days of Eddie Irvine.

Also while Viso had a shitty day Saturday with that massive AM practice wipe out. Takuma Sato had a great day. Qualifying 5^th for the race. When the session was all over, you would have thought Takuma just won the Indy 500. His pit swarmed with Japanese media, both print and Nippon TV. And an ESPN “reporter” whom I question if she knew his name before that moment. And a sockless middle aged man named Robin Miller. When it ended tons of people were coming over in KV uniforms and corporate types shaking his hand. The jubilation for the 5 team was high. Perhaps this will be the shot in the arm the team needs for the rest of 2010. (God knows their race finish was not)

The pole sitter was Will Power; this guy is quickly becoming the new franchise of the IZOD IndyCar Series for Penske Racing. While they keep “joking” publicly, I suspect behind the scenes Helio is really becoming un-happy playing backup to his old backup. It’s like Joe Montana becoming Steve Young’s back up QB.

And Penske is not the lone dysfunctional family in the paddock. The “new” family of Andretti Autosport is really on the verge of group therapy. See my separate article “I hate you, you hate me, we’re a fast un-happy family” for this scoop.

Sunday would be more interesting for the pre-race press conference than the main event later in the day. Ryan Hunter-Reay was announced would drive the “IZOD” car for the rest of 2010. With two events Ethanol USA would be the main sponsor. But what made this interesting was the one-liner made by Andretti PR man Al Larsen. Who would introduce Hunter-Reay as “…the President & treasurer of the Milka Duno fan club.” http://instantrimshot.com/

The members of the media had a mighty hardy chuckle over this. Ryan Hunter-Reay seemed to giggle nervously a little. Normally PR people avoid any semi-controversial comments like I avoid STDs. Clearly Larsen had no fear of backlash from this. Kind of ballsy considering Hugo Chavez is bank rolling her in the series more or less. Hey Al Larsen, be careful, who knows, Chavez may have Fidel’s old October missiles.

I could explain the charity that is getting set up, but check out the “mainstream” IndyCar press for this.

The Lights race was dull, and the main event after was worst. Luckily the league’s PR staff supplied me with a “Race Mode” sticker minutes after I tweeted I was going to be stuck in the Media center since the Glen never gave me one. I guess important people might see my tweets. This day Gonzo-tweeting won. Even after all my unprofessional tweets about the goings on behind the scenes, I was cleared to be up close and personal.

Maybe it was my Saturday coverage of Robin Miller. This guy is a piece of work. If you ever read ‘Fear & Loathing: In Las Vegas” Imagine Raul Duke, minus the salt shaker of narcotics, the angry Samoan lawyer, and a red convertible. Miller twitches like Jell-o in an earthquake as he writes. Not to make light of it, but something really is not right with that man. He’s nice, other than snubbing me on gum, but he’s a real odd-ball. (I like that!)

I struggled to watch the video feed of the World Challenge race with Miller's khaki ball cap shaking away under the TV. The guy was dropping F’ bombs like a kid with IBS drops deuces. He even called a driver in the series a “Fucking bitch” to the delight of media members in the room. I won’t name names.

I think Miller also could have been the basis for “The Dude” in the Big Lebowski. I just fear who would be his Walt. I know he loves A.J. a bit. But I digress. The man is very, honest with his thoughts. Plus I envy any man who has the fashion sense of Don Johnson and leaves the socks at home.

When the subject of the NASCAR race from the night before at Daytona came up. And a media member asked him how much money of equipment was destroyed did he think. Miller did like my point that so many teams were also being sponsored by US Military branches, that a shit load of US Taxpayer dollars were pissed away at Daytona. I never saw him on Speed, that night, not sure if he was on Wind Tunnel. I could see him repeating that there to diss NASCAR.

The race itself is more memorable for the excessive amounts of times my scanner would stop on Milka’s channel to hear over and over “Come on Milka DRIVE HARDER, YOU HAVE TO GO HARD OUT THERE!!!” “NO! NO! NOW YOU’RE GOING SLOWER!!! GO FASSSSSTER MILKA!!!”

I think if you need any evidence just how bad it is her scanner on race day is all you need to hear. Clearly the 18 bunch know they are stuck with a lame horse, only this one can’t be taken behind the barn and shot for the glue factory.

Also the other things that went over looked in the days race was the fact that Raphael Matos (or Raphi as that clueless douche on ABC Marty Reid kept calling him.) finished in 4^th place. This would tie his best finish for 2010 at Sao Paulo where he also finished P4. 5^th place would be Mario Moraes topping his prior best finish of 2010 of P6 at Long beach.

Sure Penske went 1&2, with Dario taking third for Ganassi. But the fact the de Ferran Dragon team ended up 4^th shows maybe this team is finally moving in the right direction. As is the case for Mario Moraes. His 5^th place finish shows that when a KV car is not totaled they are good cars. If this team could stop having so many crashes, they could get a podium or two this year.

The last matter on the race I would like to address is what happened to the blocking flags? Remember Barber & Indy they were using that flag like toilet paper at a baked bean festival? Where the hell was it with Paul Tracy Sunday?

This guy was putting down blocks that would make Kyle Busch of NASCAR blush. He several times was way too aggressive with Adam Carroll. Luckily Carroll is a smarter driver than a Duno, or Romancini. How he didn’t get wrecked is beyond me. And Note to Paul Tracy, way to be a douche to the 24 team. They already lost one car to a massive crash this year, why must you risk destroying another car for them as you promote the race in Canada.

I think we saw this weekend why no one will give PT a full time ride any longer. He tends to have bouts with “Jackass-ism”. I’m sure the 24 team would have regretted not having Rahal in the car instead had he wiped out being such overly aggressive driver.

I think we did see that Adam Carroll is an extremely talented young man from the Northern six counties. Perhaps we will see more of this young man in 2011.

After the race I pigged out on Buffalo wings and slices of room temperature Dominos Pizza during the post race press conference. More comments about how Milka sucks and was in the way were made.

I’m not sure what else can be said, the racing was bad, attendance weak other than the turn one stands which were general admission. (The front stretch stands that were once Nazareth Speedway looked like seating for the invisible race fans) I don’t see this race coming back, it felt just like Richmond last season, but with right handers, and less fans.

Clearly after speaking to Randy Bernard pre-race the series will not run 4^th of July weekend next season. He seems to think all holiday weekends are bad because corporate sponsors don’t want to entertain on holidays they would rather be with their families. Only I have two problems with that, one how many of these companies make their employees work holidays? And two, did Randy miss what weekend the Indy 500 is on?

The bigger problem is ISC is cutting the series loose and therefore under promoting events, leaving the series looking weak. Shit they had the place packed in Richmond but still used the lack of passing as the excuse to can the series. It seems IndyCar racing went from a split between teams and series, to a split between race track corporations ISC which is run by the France family of ASSCAR, wants to be almost exclusive to the Git-er-done crowd. And Bruton Smith is the real life George Costanza always doing the opposite.

Ok don’t race the 4^th Randy, but don’t count out Labor Day weekend either. Since most CEOs don’t really “labor” they pay little people to do that.

On my way out of the track to my car, I passed Robin Miller going the opposite way driving a golf cart. I waved to say good-bye to him. He replied with a wave as he yelled "LATER DUDE!!!" I would drive off into the sunset, toward Pennsylvania, passing a barrage of fireworks exploding in the air along the highways. The dude abides, and shall return to an IZOD IndyCar event.

No Animals, media members, or race car drivers were harmed in the making of this story.

Spike Rogan has a letter in the August 2010 issue of Super Street magazine. On sale at newsstands now!!! And can be followed on twitter http://www.twitter.com/spikerogan

World Baseball Classic

2009-03-21T08:05:00.001-07:00

I have been not posting here much, due to the fact I have a new sports blog.

http://www.ussportspages.com/wp

I'm a featured blogger there and have been covering the WBC.

Top Ten baseball fan brawls, Spring Training 2009 Edition; part three

2009-02-22T00:19:00.000-08:00

So with further delay I give you the top 3 Baseball fan brawl videos.

#3 "Boston Sucks!" in Charm City (Most baseball fans know Baltimore these days as a destination for opposing fans. Many see the O's as a team with no direction or fans post Cal Ripken Jr. I must say, this video is high on the list just to show some Baltimore fans still give a shit about their team and home. What it lacks in blood and flying bodies it makes up for in passion that makes your heat feel warm.)

#2 Girls gone wild at a baseball game (No they don't show their tits. YES they fight! This number two is really a tie of the two best girl brawls at a MLB game. One is some bad ass Chicano girls at Dodger Stadium. The other crazy drunk girls in the Windy City.)

Honorable Mention Knock out at the Linc (This wasn't top ten, but gets a HM nod. It takes place post game like all good brawls. This is actually on the property of the Philadelphia Eagles. It is two videos. First is a fast minor fight, the second is a few dudes brawling at once. The Larry Holmes like knock out you miss the actual punch since the videographer is taping anoher fight. But the crowd response to the knock out is classic.

And YES Whip-its are for more than just Pearl Jam concerts in Philly!)

Ao to re-cap the list. The numbers are "sides" representing teams.
1-O's fans
1-Blue Jays
1-yankess
2- White Sox
2-Dodgers
2-Phillies
3-Female Baseball fans
4 Cubs
5-Red Sox
5-Mets

Clearly the two cities that dominate this list are Chicago and New York. However the most fan fight videos on youtube clearly are at Dodger Stadium.

And now.........

#1 Phillies fans vs Mets fans, in Philly 2007 (This goes on for some time. It has every thing, R-Rated words. Beer flying. Masses of Security and cops. And a Security guard yelling "Put the camera the fuck down!" It is over 7 minutes. But lots of fighting. This is a clear winner since most fight clips are under 2 minutes.)

Top Ten baseball fan brawls, Spring Training 2009 Edition; part two

2009-02-19T22:51:00.000-08:00

Moving on today I give you numbers 6-3.

#6 East LA Gangs and Dodger games don't mix! (Is this a baseball game fight, or a scene from Oz?)

#5 Those crazy hosers,eh! (The 500 level at Blue Jays games in 2008 , were more like WWF King of the Ring. Apparently at the Sky Dome every Tuesday is $2.00 Beers. Thats in Canadian dollars and alcohol content. Their beer has more than our pussy 5%! It shows! And hey, don't fuck with a Blue Jay fan in the 500 level. You'll end up like Hunter S. Thompson at the end of "Hells Angles"!)

#4 Mets security beats the piss out of fans. (And this video the user has not allowed to embed. So follow the link. This is another video from the September 7th beat down. My birthday is the 7th of September, maybe thats why it is soo sweet having sat field level to cheer on my Phillies that day at Shea!

This is also the first of two videos were a jacked security guard flips out it is being taped.)

Shea security beats fans like they owe them money!

Todays Honorable Non-Baseball Mention: A fight breaks out in the crowd of a toughman fight.

#3 Cubs drunks vs White Sox drunks ( This one is dedicated to homerderby. The security guard putting the shirt over his face is lacking in professionalism. And I thought the KKK also cover your face, before they lynch you?)

Top Ten baseball fan brawls, Spring Training 2009 Edition

2009-02-19T09:52:00.000-08:00

It's amazing with all the Baseball coverage the new MLB network (Yet another pro-sports league based cable network out of shit hole New Jersey.) there is no best of brawling cheap seat drunks.

I mean other cable networks (including one that shares my name, still waiting on my settlement check Viacom!) show the most extreme (police chases, bar brawls, car crashes, storms, plane crashes, and curling) but no baseball fans fighting.

So I decided I would do it here on this low rated blog.

The list is the top 10.

Basic requirements are simple,
* Must be at a baseball game
* punches must be thrown or bodily fluids exchanged (spit)
* Must have video posted on-line so I can post it.

with that said today I give you numbers 10 through 7.

#10 Female fan vs Female member of NYPD at Yankee stadium

#9 Cubs on Cubs fight after Cubs Phillies game in Chicago (Notice the head of security, can you say "JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"

#8 Fan tossed over rail at Yankee stadium. (You'll notice no city has more assholes fighting than New York!)

#7 September 7th 2008 Mets fans vs Mets fans at Shea. (One of MANY fights online from that game. The Mets got slaughtered on the field for game one. So their fans attacked not only Phillies fans BUT themselves as well!)

South Jersey iggles fans wish, they did it first

2009-01-21T07:13:00.000-08:00

Watch this link from the Arizona NBC 12. Apparently Philly is not the only place with dumb rednecks as fans!

While Mitch Williams got death threats, and half the men in Clayton, NJ who wear Real Tree Camo "Git-r-done!" hats are readying crosses and nooses for McNabb over the playoff loss in Arizona.

These two obvious bar mates hatched a great idea. (If you were a 15 year old High School freshman!)

Take diesel fuel (the hardest to ignite, the worst to put out, and the nastiest of all for fumes)

And left messages for Donavan. None were soup related.

The 28 year old looks unfazed in his mug shot. The old man is embarrassed, not as much as the Cardinals organization by his mug shot!

Kurt Warner said he's just angry they forgot to thank God for fire and diesel fuel.

Former AFL star Kurt Warner , will play in his third superbowl!

2009-01-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

Before he was in the NFL Europe, he was a Iowa Barnstormer.

Kurt Warner may very well have sealed the deal this Sunday, for a bust in Canton, Ohio. That would make Warner the first and possibly last Arena Football League alumni to make it to the Pro Football hall of fame.

The AFL had become a cult sport, that was all but invisible from the national TV scene. Kurt Warner leading Iowa to a pair of Arena Bowls, not only put the AFL back on the map. (Landing them on TNN in it's last days before the change to "Spike TV")

He also helped the AFL land its first major Video game.(He was with the St. Louis Rams at the time of the games release) "Kurt Warner's Arena Football unleashed" was on Play Station One. The previous two AFL games was a text game (no graphics) for the Comadore 64. And a proto-type game for the short lived 64 bit Atari Jaguar.

(I bought one during my Senior year of High School for 30 bucks brand new with two games. Fours years after the Jag was realeased. By the way incase your keeping score. Playstation 2 came out in the fall of 2000. It is still for sale for about $130 for a new system today. Even with Playstation 3 out for over two years now. And PS2 still has new games coming out. But that is not the point of this post.)

Below is some screen shots of the PS1 game. I know I hope to someday land a copy. I love the AFL and will always love the AFL even though I doubt the league will ever return!

I do hope Kurt wins this Superbowl. For all of us 50 yard, indoor war fans!

Video of "Kurt Warner's Arena Football Unleashed"

Steven Colbert tips his hat to the NY Mets

2009-01-16T17:26:00.000-08:00

Just watched the replay from last night. Laughed my ass off to this in light of recent events.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Tip/Wag - Monkey on the Lam

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Joseph Stalin's kin found in NY running a NY Mets Blog

2009-01-16T13:51:00.000-08:00

So all who know me, know I love talking sports and Baseball to fans of any team. (My Dad the Mets fan, my buddy Pete and friend El more Mets fans. My buddy Pat a Boston fan that was a fan when they sucked too, and my girl friend Marjorie who is Yankee fan.and yet I still love her!;)

I love the blog "Home Run Derby" they have a link on here. Great diamond chat all year. And with more than just people who think like me. I love debate. I'd rather disagree with a Mets or Cardinals fan than just listen to the choir and pat myself on the back!

Then again I also DO NOT WATCH FOX NEWS!

I'm a fan of democracy and free exchange of views.

Well I guess "METS GRRL" (She's a Mets fan who seems to not care for the letter I)

She's also a fan of Sean Hannity style only we are right and don't any outsiders say a word!

I made a few jokes and insightful thoughts on corporate ads in Baseball. And the awful logo the Mets had made. They paid some advertising firm to make the first year at "Cititfield" patch. I don't know why!

Any kid in the NY Media market could have made a patch that is 10,000 times better, for free!

After a few posts I saw this comment from the "grrl"

" kind of have to wonder why, all day, I’ve been deleting derogatory comments from fans of other teams. I gotta tell ya, I don’t have enough time in my day to go to a fan site for another team and taunt them about their *uniform logo*.

Not to mention it also isn’t any of my business. I’m not gonna have to wear it. I can understand having an opinion but the rest of it kind of befuddles me." this was posted after one of my posts.

Well considering it was after my post. (and I got a e-mail that she gave that reply. I had to comment back on that.

I joked again that since Citibank is part of the Corporate swine bailout. EVERY American even those who are NOT Mets fans should have a say how the tax funded cash is spent.

Also I said don't let the fans of other teams upset you. When you get all worked up and bent out of shape and bannish folks for not agreeing with you, makes you look like a Yankees fan. (Or atleast George Stienbrener as played by Larry David.)

WELL!

How dare I!

When I saw someone counter my thoughts the cardinals wear a corporate name with Busch Stadium patches. A Mets fan made a good point. It is the owners name not just a sponsor.

So when I went to say that maybe so, but look at the Brewers when Miller Brewing owned them they changed the "M" logo on their caps. The "M" became a clone for Millers logo font. So viola the Brewers advertise Beer subversively as do the Cardinals I feel.

But after I made my post and hit enter.

BANNED!

Apparently while most Baseball fans love democracy, free speech, and other views. NOT METS FANS in the world of sexes with no vowels!

My Friend Tommy last year made a myspace "JUST FOR METS FANS!" he didn't want to speak with any Phillies or Yankees fans any more.

Is it some are in denial that Omar was over hyped as a GM? Do they not want to face the facts Anna Benson may have hit the nail on the head for several years? Omar's main concern was the most Latinos on one team. (So he can sell swag and seats to NYC's huge latino population like George did before him? While overlooking better talent of other ethnic backgrounds. This off season to his credit he gave up the quest for biggest Latin names and tried to get best talent.)

Or has America been just so polarized and minded fucked to the point no one wishes to hear from other sides? (look at Cable news MSNBC vs FOX NEWS!)

(Read the rest of this post in the voice of Keith Olberman on Countdown, or Ben Afflack on SNL as him will do)

Mets grrl your always free and welcome to post here. As long as it has something to do on the subject of the post your commenting on!

I'm not a dictator and nor should you.

Good night and GOOD LUCK! Even for the Mets!

The Mets grrl blog post and comments

The 2009 Mets patch in question comes from "The ‘ROPOLITAN" blog.
http://theropolitans.com/

NFL Playoff picks

2009-01-15T09:28:00.000-08:00

Jesus Christ, it's been too long since my last post.

Don't worry in the next few days the video from WNEP will be a link so it doesn't auto play. They use to not do that. I guess they wanted to get their local TV ads played on myspace even if folks had no interest in watching it.

Don't worry "Scranton Yankee" fans. Or as I like to call them "Scranton Jerk Offs who wish they were from New York City".

Your "first champions of Scranton" will be back. Just none will go on to be World Fucking Champions like the former Red Barons (Utley, Howard, Burrell, Shane-o,Hamels, Myers, etc.)

Ya'll have Melky a washed up never was outfielder for the Yank-mes.

And don't think I didn't notice the increase in NY Football giants fans in Scranton over the last year! (You think we don't notice you fuckers always jumping ships? )

But enough about how the folks in Scranton/Wilkes-Barre are nimrods that drank too much water tainted by shutdown coal mines! Not even why I write!

No, no. This weekend is Conference Championship weekend. Or as most know it (the games that almost always are better than the Superbowl!)

The Superbowl is a Cartoon of itself. How many times in the next two weeks will you hear women declare "I just watch the ads."

Drives me fucking nuts. It's more QVC and less championship. You know what I do during the ads? I take pisses and shits! Most of the ads suck anyways. I mean the best corporate America has had to offer in the last 15 Superbowls is frogs saying "Bud-weis-er", and that hot chic (who was famous for a year maybe) in a Doritios ad.

The thing that pisses me off the most is, how many corporations that asked for welfare from the government "bailouts" will spend about half of the cash you and I supplied in the form of Taxes?

Will Citicard run stupid ads? Will Dodge spend 2 million to tell us for 30 seconds they are trying to save money? (Like the full page ad they ran in the Wall Street Journal saying that a few weeks ago at a cost of 100k! Check out Mark Cuban's blog on that gem.)

Oh the 50 billion hours of pre-game shit.

Thanks god for REAL FOOTBALL FANS, we have this Sunday!

Game One Philadelphia@ Arizona:

Well as a Philly everything else fan but Dolphan NFL season. I'm no "iggles" fan. I get sick to my stomach every August when the Phillies are in the heat of a Pennant race and all the sports media in Philly wants to talk about is Eagles training camp at Lehigh.

I'm shocked the Eagles found the way to the NFC Championship game. I mean McNabb has as much sense with clock time, as a 2 year old. What times up? But I was having fun!

I will say in McNabb's defense the Phone penalty was total Bullshit. As was the fine TO got for the filming joke he did after a TD as a jab at those scumbags from New England. Thew NFL still stands for No Fun League, how I miss the AFL when these flags and fines are issued in NFL play. I think the phone was far less troublesome than dog fights, or running with gang members to tittie bars!

Jesus maybe if I posted more often I could stay on subject.

So as I was saying, Eagles offensive secret is Westbrook. This guys is a running back and a wide receiver for them. And oh yeah he's hurt from the last game.

Eagles do have a decent defense. But Offensively with no Brian Westbrook, they should just ask the Philadelphia Soul play for them instead. If Westbrook plays and is good enough I say Eagles beat the Cards. He ran wild on them Thanksgiving ala the old "What you going to do, when Hulkamania runs wild all over you!"

I'm a huge Arena Football fan (was at the first ever game for the Philadelphia Soul, every home opener in team history, every Soul game at home vs Dallas,every home playoff game in franchise history, and what may have been the last ever Soul game in Philly where they became National conference Champs and went to what may be the last ever Arenabowl)

So my heart really wants Kurt Warner to win. He may be the only man to ever make it to Canton, Ohio that has AFL on his résumé. (I have to cut and past that word otherwise it's resume, and that is a totally different word.)

The Cards D has played with some real fire and urgency the last two weeks, but I wonder if this D is the real deal. (Ravens and Steelers D has been great all year not just the past two weeks!)

So I have a odd pick here, If Westbrook is good
Eagles 27
Cards 17

If Westbrook is so-so or doesn't play
Eagles 10
Cards 21

GAME TWO Ravens @ Steelers:

WOW, this may be possibly the greatest NFL playoff game in three decades. You have to go back to the days of Terry Bradshaw to compare possibly. Maybe this could rank up there with the "Icebowl".

The two toughest Defensive teams meet. Both have OK offensives as well.Most importantly both franchises HATE each other. This is like Dallas vs Philly in the NFC, Patriots vs Dolphins, or Packers Bears.

I have no idea what the over under is as of today. But take the under in this match up. I doubt the margin of victory will surpass 7 points. Hell I wonder if we will have a winner after 4 quarters of play!

I do think that the amount of injuries the Ravens have suffered this post season will catch up with them in Ice cold Pittsburgh.

Ravens: 14
Steelers: 17 OT

I would like to see a all Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Superbowl, but don't be sure the Ealges will do their part to make it so.

Yankees AAA team closes down club at Shea Jr.

2009-01-06T03:10:00.001-08:00

The NY Yankees moved their AAA affiliation to Scranton PA. (Actually in Moosic near the Airport in the "burbs" of Scranton.)

Before it was PNC it was Lackawana County Stadium. Before it had natural grass it had Astro turf. The stadium was built in 1989 by the county that Scranton calls home. The Red Barons were the AAA team for the Phillies (hence the astro turf in the days of the Vet.)

But around 2003 the honeymoon was long over. The Scranton folks didn't care Chase Utley, Nick Punto, Ryan Madison, Brett Myers, Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell,Ryan Howard, Gavin Floyd , Cole Hammels,Shane Victerino, Mike Liberthal, and Todd Pratt were all Red Barons. (The last two the only ones listed that were not there between 1999 and 2005. They were with the first of two Red Barons teams to play for the International League title. 2001's team with guys like Utley and Punto also played for the title and had a lead in the series when 9-11-01 happened the championship was then cancelled for 2001. 2008 the Scranton Yankees won the title and now are the "first" champions in Scranton Sports.)

2007 the NY Yankees came to town with the "Scranton Yankees" most in Scranton are Yankee fans baseball season. They went ape shit. Yankees brought grass which turned the stadium eerily into the Shea of Scranton.

Now they are chasing out a local operator of the "Stadium Club" the bar/resturant open year round. (In the early 1990's this was a outside the box concept. Now every new MLB park has at least one if not more business operating year round in the stadium.)Is the Scranton Yanks claim legit? Or is Hank and the Steinbrats looking to prop Aramark in at all their minor league stadiums?

Don't worry Kelly P, I hear it will turn into a Hooters for all the boobs who love the Yankees. I'm sure they will hire you back, as long as you don't mind tight small uniforms, pantyhose, and drunken PGA stars.

Transcript and video link to WNEP ABC 16's story on this

Lackawana County Stadium October 2003

PNC "Field" (aka Scranton Shea)
Summer 2008

File this under, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!

2008-12-14T15:48:00.000-08:00

From the Express Times in Easton, PA

(Just read the story, what else can I ad, other than the parents are mentally ill!)

http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/warren-county/index.ssf?/base/news-0/122923112231930.xml&coll=3

Holland Township man names son after Adolf Hitler
Sunday, December 14, 2008
By DOUGLAS B. BRILL
The Express-Times
HOLLAND TWP. | In a living room decorated with war books, German combat knives and swastikas, a 2-year-old boy, blond and blue-eyed, played with a plastic dinner set.

The boy, asked his name, put down a tiny plate and ran behind his father's leg. He flashed a shy smile but wouldn't answer. Heath Campbell, 35, the boy's father, encouraged him.

"Say Adolf," said Campbell, a Holocaust denier who has three children named for Nazism.

Again, the boy wouldn't answer. It wasn't the first time the name caused hesitation.

Adolf Hitler Campbell -- it's indeed the name on his birth certificate -- turns 3 today, and the Campbell family believes the boy has been mistreated. A local supermarket refused to make a birthday cake with "Adolf Hitler" on it.

The ShopRite in Greenwich Township has also refused to make a cake bearing the name of Campbell's daughter, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, who turns 2 in February.

Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, a girl named for Schutzstaffel head Heinrich Himmler, turns 1 in April.

"ShopRite can't even make a cake for a 3-year-old," said Deborah Campbell, 25, who is Heath's wife of three years and the mother of the children. "That's sad."

Elisha Cuthbert speaks

2008-12-09T12:44:00.000-08:00

Give me that old time hockey!

2008-12-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

WOW, I have to wonder how the NHL has yet to fold. They built up the league in non ice sport markets, like Dallas, Phoenix, LA, Anaheim, San Jose, Tampa, Miami, Charlotte, Atlanta, and Nashville.

I recall when they tried to stop fighting from the game. No one watched, no one showed up, and no one gave a crap. So then brawls were allowed back.

Lately the actress Elisha Cuthbert has made the rounds of NHL players. When her ex Sean Avery made a humors joke to the media about it he was suspended for 6 games. Elisha Cuthbert did play a porno starlette who was a teenage boys prom date in (the girl next door). She also played a compulsive gambler when she was 18 for a Canadian TV movie that had her bookie slip her roofies and sleep with her while his wife filmed it for blackmail to force her to pay. Now she only dates hockey players.

Once on Conan she spoke about how hot it is to watch these guys brawl, and the losers are "pussies" as she said! NBC had to bleep her. I was very aroused myself. This chic digs bloddy, toothless macho men, and yet Jerry Springer can not book her!

WOW, these guys(hokey players, or aka Elisha's boy toys) use the word "pussy" as both a noun and adjective at work. Most lose a few gallons of blood a season for brawling like the Springer show ala 1997.

I won't waste my time writting a long post on this. I'll just put a few comments above a few videos. You will see real fast how silly this is.

I mean imagine if Dave Schultz was suspending for saying "Sloppy seconds"!

THE COMMENT THAT WAS SO BAD!:

WHAT DID NOT GET AVERY SUSPENDED DAYS EARLIER:

WHAT AVERY DID NOT SAY!:

FOUR MINUTE LONG DISCUSSION ON CANADIAN TV ON COMMENTS. THEY SAY "SLOPPY SECONDS":

OLD TIME HOCKEY!:

WHAT EVERY AMERICAN THINKS OF HOCKEY:

FESTIVUS FOR THE REST OF US!!!

2008-11-29T13:51:00.000-08:00

In light of yesterday (Black Friday 2008) and the incidents that lay the cloud of shame on the holidays. First at 5am in Valley Stream Long Island (Not far from where Joey Butafuco once lived and nailed teen agers) a Wal-mart security guard was trampled to death.

Then later in the day two women in a Cali-forn-yah Toys-R-Us (Sorry I can not reverse the R!) got in a loud vocal argument over a item. This came to a end when one women pulled a sidearm (handgun) on the other and shot a round into the person she disagreed with.

Talk about real life Jingle all the way!

The Wal_mart in East Stroudsburg, PA had a bomb scare around mid-day Friday. When police and fire crews arrived to evacuate the store customers argued with the emergency personal. "We've beeen on line for so long. Let us finish our shopping first!" In light of the recent terror attacks in India some were willing to risk their lives for a HD TV, and argyle socks. Wow, that is Freedom baby!

Bernie O'Hare of Lehigh Valley Ramblings (my favorite blogger out there, and I don't say that to kiss ass. I check it every single day regardless of what state I may be in. If I can get on line I go to his blog. http://lehighvalleyramblings.blogspot.com It is also linked on the right.) He put up a post that he will celebrate Festivus this year due to the economic times. Telling all he made a donation in their name to the Human Fund.

For the last three years I have made and mailed Festivus cards to friends and family. Some may have though I hit my head one too many times. But I'm Irish so I have 2 inches of dense skull covering my brian. Thats why I wear a 7 and 7/8 fitted hat!

But O'Hare only helps win the debate. Bill O'Reilly can scream about the "War on Christmas", the real enemy is Capitralism Bill O's best bud. Greed has driven us out of our fucking skulls. Like a bad Troma flick, or a Chase Utley line drive between your eyes. Our skulls have been beaten about for years by Corporate America, making material items as important as love, peace, and happiness. I know my life is better with a ove glove, RC Hummer, O'Reilly Factor "Holiday Balls", over priced susage, the Homer Simpson Chia head(More hair than Homer), and the fucking clapper!

Give me, give me, give me, give me, I want, I want, I want!!!!! The general population of this nation has become a spoiled fucking tot!

I'll stick with Festivus for the rest of us! "There had to be a better way!"

And it doubles as Eddie Vedder's birthday! Some real Irony in that for any Pearl Jam fan!

CALGARY STAMPEDERS WIN THE GREY CUP!

2008-11-23T17:58:00.001-08:00

Before the second largest crown in Grey Cup history. The Calgary Stampeders win their sixth Grey Cup. In front of over 66,000 fans in Montreal. Calgary pulled off the upset before a mostly Montreal crowd.

The Mounties are brining the Grey Cup to be presented to Calgary as I write this blog post.

CALGARY STAMPEDERS 22
MONTREAL ALOUETTES 13
FINAL

Calgary Stampeders win the 96th Grey Cup, and first since 2001.

GREY CUP TODAY!!!

2008-11-22T21:02:00.000-08:00

For those who wish to check out the CFL 96th Grey Cup, here is where you can.

TV:
VERSUS network (the same hard to find network that has NHL, and Division 2 football)
Starts 5:30PM EST (listed until 9:30 PM est)

SAT RADIO:
SIRIUS Ch. 130
Starts 6PM EST

Who are the Calgary Stampeders,eh?

2008-11-21T18:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I told you about the franchise from Montreal in great detail. Tonight I give you the Calgary Stampeders.

The Stampeders take their name from the world famous Calgary Stampede. A Rodeo and festival that takes place every July. The event started in 1886 and is billed as “The greatest outdoor show on Earth”.

EARLY YEARS:
The CFL team officially became named the Calgary Stampeders in 1945. (From 1935 to 1944 they were the "Bronks")The Stampeders have won the Grey cup five times. The first came in 1948, Calgary would become the first and still ONLY CFL franchise to have a undefeated season. Many teams have come close but like the Miami Dolphins in the NFL, no CFL team has completed the feat either.

WOODY STRODE
The 1948 team also had a team member of notoriety. Woody Strode. Who was one of two black players to break the NFL color barrier in 1946 with the Rams. Strode was also a successful professional wrestler and actor. He appeared in films from 1941 until 1995.

Some of his films include the Ten Commandments,Pork Chop Hill, two Tarzan films, Spartacus (he was nominated for a Golden Globe for his role in that film),he narrated “Black rodeo” a 1972 documentary, and what many rank as one of the ten worst films of all time “CHE!”. That film had Jack Palance from City Slickers as Fidel Castro!

THE FLUTIE YEARS: 1992 - 1995

1992 the miracle kid himself Doug Flutie, led the Stampeders to their third ever Grey Cup win. Flutie would spend most of his years in the CFL with Calgary, but would win two more Grey Cups with Toronto in his finall years in the league.

Flutie was replaced during the 1995 season due to injury. His replacement a then unknown kid Jeff Garcia, would explode. In his second start for Calgary while Flutie was injured, Garcia set a franchise record 546 passing yards and 6 touch downs. Flutie would come back late in the season and started in place of Garcia in the Grey Cup. Flutie and Calgary lost. It began the first of many QB controversies of Garcia’s career.

Jeff Garcia became the starter in 1996 after Flutie left for the Argos. 1998 Garcia led his Stampeders to the Grey Cup capped with a win, and Grey Cup MVP. That would send him on to bigger and better things, like having TO claim you are gay. Landing a hot trophy wife. And having a franchise actually pick Donavan McNabb over you! Yo Donovan how does OT work again? How was that clock in Jacksonville as well? Ok so I thought Garcia should have been given the job in Philly.

The Stampeders fans are some of the most loyal, and wild in all of the CFL. While famous fans include Shania Twain. My favorite has to be all the drunk hosers who choose to streak the games. Typical Canadians with their 7% alc. beer. I could see Homer J. Simpson at a CFL game.

GREY CUP in AMERICA MEDIA

2008-11-21T06:44:00.000-08:00

Are you Hosers ready for some football, eh!?!

2008-11-20T10:28:00.000-08:00

Well this Sunday will mark a nearly century old tradition to our north. While us hosers here in the states watch the New York Jets and Brett Farve. Those peace loving, higher alcohol drinking, naked sporting event streaking Canadians enjoy THEIR version of Football.

Back on December 4th, 1909 then Governor General of Canada, Lord Earl Grey donated what became the “Grey Cup”. A tradition much like the Stanley Cup began. The early days the Grey Cup was battled for between the best Collegiate and Pro clubs. (Many early clubs like the NFL for Pro were more like todays corporate softball teams)

On that December in 1909 at Rosedale Field in Toronto the Toronto Parkdale Canoe Club, lost to the University of Toronto Varsity Blues 26-6. A new tradition was born in the great white north,eh. The University of Toronto would win the first three Grey Cups. The “Pros” did not win until Hamilton Alerts won. The Alerts were members of the Canadian Rugby union. The game was a mutant of rugby, but by the return of the Grey cup after WWI it would be more like American football. With many obvious differences.

During the 1920’s the Amateur teams would vanish from the Grey Cup meetings for the “Canadian Rugby” champions. The sanctioning body would not become the “Canadian Football League” until several Rugby organizations merged in the 1950’s. However the Rugby rules had vanished decades early.

Some of the amateur teams that appeared in the Grey Cup included the Toronto Rowing Club (0-1), Toronto Parkdale Canoe Club(0-2), the winnings' team University of Toronto(4-2), and the teams with a perfect Grey cup record Montreal Amateur Athletic Association (AAA)(1-0), and Queen’s University(3-0). Queen’s would be the last school champions in 1924, while University of Toronto would be the last appearance of a College.

Amateur clubs would also win in 1931 (Montreal AAA), 1942 Toronto Royal Canadian Air Force Hurricanes, and 1944 the Montreal HMCS Donnacona (Her Majesty’s Canadian Ship, a unit of the Canadian Naval Reserve.) would be the final non professional club to win the Grey Cup.

While the Grey Cup started in 1909, this will be only the 96th Grey Cup. No game was held 1916 through 1918 due to WWI. 1919 saw no game due to a rule dispute with the Canadian Rugby Union and the International Rugby Board. Apparently the forward pass was at issue. Thus the game would become Football as North America knows it.

The game has long been played on a field 110 yards long not 100 yards like in America. 100 yards are for pussies. The field is wider in Canada as well at 65 yards across, because shorter is for pussies! They have 12 men on the field not 11 like the AMerican outdoor version because, less men is for pussies! The goal posts still are in front of the Canadian end-zone because, moving it out of the players way is for pussies! And of-course the ball is larger in the CFL because little balls,.... are for pussies! The CFL for years in the 1990’s sold shirts that said “CFL, Our balls are bigger!” Hence the macho jokes.

Also you have just three downs not four to move ten yards for a first down. The clock rarely stops, and they have the three minute warning not the two minute warning of the NFL, or 1 minute warning of the AFL.

Many names famous to us hosers who watch the NFL have won a Grey Cup. While we may re-call a few years ago Rickey Williams was a member of the Toronto Argonauts that team did not go to the championship with the then banned NFL player. However Toronto does have a pair of famous Grey Cup MVPs for us down here. The 1991 MVP was Raghib “rocket” Ismail (who passed being drafted by the Raiders for the CFL), and 1996 and 1997 Toronto’s Doug Flutie would be MVP. Flutie also won the 1992 award with the Calgary Stampeders.

Other NFL bound MVP’s include 1980 & 1982’s Offensive MVP Warren Moon (from 1974-1990 they awarded a Offensive and defensive MVP award). Current Green Bay QB coach Tom Clements won it for 1976. And current NFL QB Jeff Garcia was the 1998 MVP for the Calgary Stampeders.

This year the Calgary Stampeders go to Montreal (the neutral site that was picked in advance.) where they will face the Montreal Alouettes who won the East to play on their home turf. The Alouette name comes from a old song “Alouette” about a lark bird. Considered a symbol of Quebecois (native born residents of Quebec ). T

The team started as the “Baltimore Colts” to Canadian TV viewers in 1994. The first CFL team in America they played in Baltimore. In America they had to be called the “Baltimore CFLers”. They would win the 1994 Grey Cup becoming the first Non-Canadian team to do so. In 1995 they returned as the “Baltimore Stallions” and would win the Grey Cup again.

However days before the 1995 Grey Cup Art Modell announced he would move the Browns to Baltimore. While all the other CFL teams in America were in financial ruin. Baltimore had great ticket sales, and TV viewers in charm city. But the writing was on the wall. The team moved to Montreal and took back the old Alouette name much like a few years later would happen in Cleveland Ohio for the Browns. The Baltimore Franchise also appeared on a episode of the NBC drama “Homicide: Life on the Streets” in 1995. They were called the “Colts” in the episode.

The next few days I will post more CFL/Grey Cup info along with more videos. Below is the CFL highlights of the divisional Championship games that decided the teams for the 96th Grey Cup.

Corgi Community on President Bush

2008-11-20T02:21:00.000-08:00

Well I have been rarely posting this week. I still have yet to post my thoughts on the racist verbal attacks at Lehigh post election day. Not to mention all the posts Obama has appointed so far.

And for alternate football fans, I will preview this years Grey Cup.(Candaian Football)

In the meantime check out this Corgi when the name "George Bush" is spoken.

I guess along with most humans, Bush is a unpopular name among the Corgis as well. I'm not sure what he did. Maybe they think Barney is a spoiled little bastard. Or maybe Bush has made it more difficult to herd soccer balls in ones backyard.

No matter here you go, enjoy.

Find more videos like this on MyCorgi.com

On that note....

2008-11-07T20:04:00.000-08:00

It is hard to say much on politics post Obama's victory. It was nice to see America has come a rather long way to 2008. And sure a long way to go as the first four years will show.

But let's not dwell on the thought of crazy white power groups attempts to cause mayhem.

Instead let's look into why the NL is better than AL.

In the NL you have pinch hitters for the pitcher spot. Guys like Matt Stairs can come out and with one swing make history off the bench.

In the AL over the hill has beens play as a DH. they usually have 25- 35 Homeruns, maybe 100 RBIs, and are lucky to hit .275.

So is it any wonder this guy was the most exciting thing the Skydome has seen since Joe Carter and Mitch Williams 1993?

Election Day 2008 in Tobyhanna, PA

2008-11-04T18:03:00.000-08:00

I was wrong thank god that Coolbaugh three would be a disaster. As you will see in my report it was due in very large part to the Obama camp working extra hard.

Chase Utley's Blue Card Baseball

2008-11-01T21:17:00.000-07:00

I love all 4 channels in Philly were live with no delay.

WORLD PHUCKING CHAMPIONS!

PHILLIES WIN!!!!

2008-10-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

The Philadelphia Phillies have won the 2008 World Series! The first time for the team since 1980.

Cole Hamels is the WS MVP. I would have voted for Chase "hustle" (Utley) for his great defensive glove in the series.

The KYW3 news van may be toppled soon.

I'll be at the Sports Complex Friday (Halloween to boot!) for the parade.

Maybe my fellow Phanatic Phans that are Phellow bloggers will be there as well!!!

WOOOOOOHOOOO!!!!

I don't recall snow in "the monster mash"

2008-10-28T18:19:00.000-07:00

Nor was the over 14 inches that fell on Tobyhanna, a graveyard smash. Days before Halloween we got over a foot of the white stuff.

I had no electric from just before 10 am, until ten to one in the afternoon. I did not get to make my coffee before the power went. Shocked I avoided killing any one.

But on the upside this was the first time I got to use the snowblower. Where was this thing my whole life?

If your in a warmer place (pretty much anywhere not near Tobyhanna) then you will enjoy the show.

The ABC station in Scranton said 1-4 inches. WFMZ did say over a foot up this way.(guess who got it right.) The neighboring borough of Mt. Pocono has a snow emergency as we speak. Just days before Halloween no less.

I hate to think what January will bring!

BLACK THURSDAY!!!!

2008-09-17T22:49:00.001-07:00

Mark it on your historical calendars, September 18, 2008. It will ultimately be today, when the world economy started to take a major shit. I got home from work about two hours ago. While eating dinner I've had Bloomberg on.

This hour of the late night they are live from Europe and Asia. The British banks in sudden take overs now. The Russian system on the verge of collapse. And the Asian market major drops.

Sadly this will be what wakes up slumbering Americans! Were all doomed, but the ride on the self righteous express was fun while it lasted.

Last stop...............September 2008!!!

OPEN POST IT NOTE TO SENATOR OBAMA:

2008-09-08T05:58:00.000-07:00

Big O,
Glad to hear you talking issues ahead of bogus scandals. I agree the flag story Fox and Drudge broke is avoiding the issues. You need to stay on topic I have a few friends who could help.
Ralph Nader, Governor Jesse Ventura, and Cynthia McKinney only want to talk about Healthcare, endless war, loss of civil liberties, corporations screwing shareholders and violating countless regulations, etc.

Check out this video I am leaving for you to view at your leisure.

Thanks,
SPIKE 

Waiting on a sunny day......

2008-09-06T07:11:00.000-07:00

Well today for my early birthday gift we were to go to NYC and see the Phillies play at Shea. My dad and one friend are Mets fans. 24 years ago my father took me to Shea for my First ever MLB game. We were front row between first and right field. I remember yelling to a young Daryl Strawberry.

I really recall other items that day 24 years ago. The visiting team in powder blue and maroon hats had some guy named Mike Schmidt. He hit a giant (well at four years old it looked massive) home run. And was cheered by many Mets fans. (boy how time has changed. If Chase Utley does that today boo city!)

Hopefully due to Hanna they will play a day night double on my Birthday instead. We have chosen not to drive to NYC only to turn around. Hanna will hit this side of America today. The rain is increasing as I write this. Accuweather says NY will get hit around 2Pm the game is 3PM.

Maybe I will buy some RC Cola and Khans franks to recreate the first days I went to Shea. Only I will not have any Harry M. Steven's paper cups with plastic wrap on top to drink the RC cola from. I was born in 1979 on Long Island New York. My Family moved to the Poconos in 1990. My dad the mets fan took me as a kid to Shea all the time. When I was real young he had season tickets to the Islanders. I went to most of the playoffs from 1980-1984 there.

I was a Mets fan until the early 90’s. In 1986 I must have attended a dozen games at Shea, it felt like 200. I was a a huge fan of Ray Knight, Lenny Dykstra (nails then), Strawberry, and Gary Carter. But as I got older Shea changed fast. Knight was gone after 1986, Carter just a few seasons behind. Strawberry became a train wreck that soon left for the Dodgers. And the day the music died when on WFAN (the very early days of Mike and the Mad Dog I think) a rainy weekday afternoon on my moms school bus radio.

“The New York Mets, have traded Roger McDowell and Lenny Dykstra to the Philadelphia Phillies for Juan Samuel.” I was crushed my last favorite baseball player now gone. My dad told me Sammy was great it may have been a good deal. The next Saturday home game we had tickets. We sat in the last row of the green Mezz section. A fight broke out and later it turned out what we missed as we lowered our heads to see past the section above. Juan got hurt, it was down hill fast from there for him.

In the summer of 1990 my folks sold their decade home Ranch in Selden Ny. I think the one bathroom house sold for over $150,000. We moved to Pennsylvania with no house as we drove there. We had to park the moving van and pick a house when we arrived. We ended up at 7078 Beaver Court in Tobyhanna. In the infamous Pocono Country Place (PCP). Our black and white TV with rabbit ears could get just a few stations. A very fuzzy WWOR 9 (no picture but sound), WNEP 16 Scranton (first TV job for Bill O’reilly), and the old Channel 17 Philadelphia had picture. We watched a few Phillies games our first few days while we lacked cable and phone. I’ll never forget hearing Harry Kalas call a home run for the first time on that old TV. And the non-stop funny stories “Whitey” Richie Ashburn told.

Heck I even got to see Lenny again! Well by 1993 I had been to numerous Red Barons games in Scranton, since we went to few games at Shea from 1990 to 1993. (1 total September 1990) and I even bought a Phillies batting helmet during the summer of 1993. I was more interested in guys like Dutch Dualton, “Mitchie Poo ” Mitch Williams, now “the Dude” Lenny Dykstra, and a nut “DJ” Danny Jackson. There wasn’t a NL fan in America who wanted the Blue Jays to repeat in 1993. The dirty dudes won over America. SNL even did a skit on them, with Farley as Krucker.

1994 would bring the MLB strike. I would only follow the Red Barons for the next 8 seasons. I only first went to the Vet in 2003 the last year of the place. The First time, was a blow out loss to the last place Ny Mets. The second and last time, was the last Saturday game at the vet. When in the 10th a unknown Chase Utley his a RBI single to win the game vs the first place Braves. it would be the Phillies last win at the vet ever!

In 2004 my father and I went to the Phillies new park together for the first time on Veterans day for a rain delayed after noon game. It was the first ever game between the Mets and Phillies there. Tomorrow will possibly be the last ever day those two teams meet there(Shea). And even though I may have been the “the fan to be-named later” in the deal with Dykstra. I will probably cry. i never got on the “diamond vision at Shea” like I did that saturday before the 9th at the Vet. But both places touched my life. Both can never be replaced. Shea is a complete shit hole and I will miss it when we park over it years from now. Just like I will cry the day They knock the Spectrum down so yuppie cocksuckers can eat and shop in south philly.

Until then I will be ....... WAITING ON A SUNNY DAY