So the Governor made a big proposal yesterday.
Everyone NOT NAMED Ed Rendell has to make sacrifices.
See Fast Eddie loves to ride at warp speed on the PA Turnpike. As Governor he pays no tolls.
He rides shot gun in the most Pimped out Caddy not owned by Snoop Dogg. He has "off duty" state Police officers (who are on the Commonwealths payroll while in the Caddy with him.) drive at speeds that would make the Pocono NASCAR race. (Ok maybe the ARCA race on Saturday at Pocono!)
Caddys get bad mileage as is at 55. But when you drive one at 185 mph, well that's a ton of fuel you waste. And I doubt Eddie rolls the window down in the summer heat.
Governor One (The name for the Caddy that may have been prepared on MTVs pimp my taxpayer owned ride) also has items your Grandfathers Caddy did not. I believe the Philadelphia Daily News (who exposed Fast Eddie for being the biggest culprit of speeding on the turnpike four years ago.) even mentioned it has special glass. Aside from crazy steelers fans, who would want to shoot this guy?
Well let me also not forget a BIG point here. Eddie loves to have the "off duty troopers" speed him back to Philly every Sunday NFL season. Why? To work for Comcast Cable of course!
Eagles Post Game Live. where the Gov can console crying "iggles" fans over yet another season of lameness.
Of course last I looked the Philadelphia Eagles are a NFL team, and Comcast Cable is a leach of a corporation. Both bitch for Corporate welfare. The iggles got a state of the art Stadium for their loyal fans to puke in and beat up Giants fans in its parking lot.
Comcast got the city to build a new Arena (the Center) which doubles as the studio home for Comcast Sportsnet. (Tax dollars for a private corporation to run a comerical network in a building funded by tax dollars, and given tax breaks. Since Cable companies are so poor!)
Then those leach bastards at Comcast sold the City of Philadelphia to demolish the Old Spectrum (still heavily used) in place of a shitty shopping and dining destination for yuppie bastards from West Chester and South Jersey.
But that is now more the City of Philadelphia at fault thinking some BMW SUV self righteous douche bag will want to drink Mimosa with brunch and look out the window to see "Git-er-done" iggles fans puking up Natty Ice, and spelling "E-A-G-L-E-S!" while kicking in the skulls of Redskins fans.
I was talking about Eddie Rendell.
So aside for his love of the iggles and his friends in Cable TV. What other great things has Big eddie done since taking office in 2003?
He made it easier to be a addict in PA! Yes that's right. He enables addictions. The Governor who claims he works till 2am every day. (Same times bars close in PA strangely enough. ) Seems to be a Friend of addiction.
He got former Republican Mayor of Easton (and king of all assholes) Tom Goldsmith to head up Liquor sales reform. Goldy saw all us from Easton drive over the Free Bridge to get our booze fix every Sunday at Nortons Cork & Bottle in Philipsburg, NJ.
So first priority for the Rendell administration is keeping its drunks on the PA side of the river. And they did away with those dumb ass religious Reich laws on Liquor sales. Nice, I was embarrassed to come from a state with tougher Liquor laws than Ala (fucking) bama, and South Carolina! (SC the state where tattoos are illegal, and Gold medal winners will do hard time for bong hits! But the most popular sports team are the COCKS! And fans young and old drink cheap beer and cheer for Cocks all day. Also gay marriage is outlawed there, do the math.)
So Fast Eddie and Goldenturd did something reasonable. But it really benefited alcholics more than anyone else. What was the next great thing Eddie did? Legalized slots in PA. Gambling another addiction of the poor and uneducated, like drinking!
Ok, so whats next? well Eddie wants to legalize illegal video poker.
WNEP came to Tobyhanna to show bars that clearly have the interest. Tobyhanna is loaded with poor people, what better idea than them pissing away the chump change they have with a beer!
See fast Eddie feels the state is wasting time busting bars, and clubs with the machines. They will never go away so lets legalize them. Of course the bars often use rigged machines that almost never pay out. Like Mafiaso Mt. Airy Lodge in Mt. Pocono.
Well I hope Eddie legalizes two things that WILL draw folks to come spend the cash they hardly have any of in PA.
Decriminalize Marijuana and legalize betting on sporting events. See, until we one up Atlantic City, who will come here? Clearly Ed Rendell is the party man's governor.
Let us do bong hits and bet on the NFL. Rendell has done jack shit to help the Commonwealth's REAL NEEDS! We will soon have no school for the Deaf in the Northeast of PA. But we got slots! Our roads and bridges compare to those in war torn Iraq. But I can buy a bottle of Jim Beam this Sunday!
we need more than a beer buzz and slots to survive Ed! Speaking of which why not legalize SLUTS like you did SLOTS! And I don't mean the sluts that take you out to lunch in Harrisburg!
But the worst part of all. Ed Rendell is still a million times better as Governor than the Red Green Shows biggest fan, Tom Ridge!
Rendell has yet to tell us how Duct tape will save our asses in the event of a terrorist attack!
Labels: booze, casinos, ed Rendell, slots, sluts, Tom Goldsmith
